WHEN EQUALITY BREEDS TENSION: A LOOK AT ORDINANCE MARRIAGES IN GHANA

WHEN EQUALITY BREEDS TENSION: A LOOK AT ORDINANCE MARRIAGES IN GHANA

By Honeybrowne Okaakyire

Marriage, to me, has always been one of the most sacred institutions in our society. Yet, as time goes by, I’ve noticed that the conversation around roles, respect, and equality in marriages keeps getting more intense. Recently, I came across a statement made by Akwasi Addai Odike that caught my attention. He said, “Most wives in ordinance marriages don’t respect their husbands and often ‘rub shoulders’ with them. It gives women a sense of equality, which brings tension in many homes.”

At first, his statement sounded quite controversial, but when I reflected on it deeply, I realized it touches on a real issue in modern Ghanaian marriages;  how equality and respect are being interpreted differently today.

Understanding Ordinance Marriage

In Ghana, ordinance marriage is a legal and monogamous union between one man and one woman. It is governed by the Marriage Ordinance Act (CAP 127) and often conducted in church or at the registrar’s office. What makes it unique is that both partners have equal legal rights and responsibilities before the law.

This legal structure empowers women to own property, make decisions, and play an active role in managing the home. But for many people who grew up under traditional norms, this equality seems to challenge the man’s authority, and that’s where tension begins.

Tradition vs. Modernity

I believe one of the biggest struggles in marriages today is the clash between tradition and modernity. Traditionally, a man was seen as the head of the home, and a woman as the helper or supporter. It worked in the past because that was what society understood and expected.

However, things are changing. Education, exposure, and modernization have opened doors for women to see themselves as partners, not subordinates. Personally, I don’t see this as disrespect, it’s a shift toward partnership. But for some men, especially those who grew up under strict traditional expectations, it can feel like women are “rubbing shoulders” with them.

That’s where the misunderstanding often begins.

The Source of Tension

I agree with Odike on one point - there is tension in many homes today. But I think the root of it is miscommunication and ego, not just equality. Many couples are caught between old cultural values and modern realities.

A man raised to expect total obedience might find it difficult to live with a woman who speaks her mind or challenges certain decisions. On the other hand, a woman who has worked hard to earn respect and independence may find it hard to be quiet when she feels unheard.

I’ve seen homes where both partners love each other deeply, yet simple power struggles ruin the peace. And often, it’s because both forget that marriage is not a battlefield and it’s a partnership.

The Meaning of Respect in Marriage

To me, respect is the heartbeat of every successful relationship. But respect doesn’t mean silence or fear. I believe a woman can respect her husband and still express her views confidently. Likewise, a man can lead without being controlling or harsh.

True respect is mutual. It’s about listening to each other, understanding differences, and building unity even when opinions clash. When we redefine respect in this way, the idea of “rubbing shoulders” disappears, it becomes teamwork instead.

Finding Balance

From my own reflection, I’ve learned that equality in marriage is not about competition; it’s about collaboration.

As husbands, men must learn to value the wisdom and contributions of their wives.

As wives, we must remember that humility and respect open more doors than pride ever could.

And as couples, we must keep communication honest, kind, and respectful, even when we disagree.

Marriage thrives best when both partners walk hand in hand, not one ahead of the other.

Conclusion

Odike’s statement may sound harsh to some, but it has opened my eyes to a truth we cannot ignore since many modern marriages are struggling to balance tradition and equality.

But I believe harmony is possible. If we all understand that equality is not a threat, but a way to build stronger and fairer relationships, our homes will be filled with more peace than tension.

At the end of the day, respect and partnership should walk together - because love only flourishes where both are present.