WHEN LOVE LOSES ITS WAY: WHY MARRIAGES IN GHANA ARE COLLAPSING FASTER THAN EVER

WHEN LOVE LOSES ITS WAY: WHY MARRIAGES IN GHANA ARE COLLAPSING FASTER THAN EVER

By Honeybrowne Okaakyire, B.Ed.

I have often sat down to reflect on the state of marriages in Ghana today, and I must admit it worries me deeply. Growing up, I watched my grandparents live together in what seemed like an unshakable union. They had their quarrels, of course, but the idea of divorce was never an option they even considered. Fast-forward to our “civilized” generation, and the story is different. Divorce is not only common; it has become almost expected when challenges arise in marriages. 

The transformation from the so-called “uncivilized age” to these “civilized years” has brought many blessings; technology, education, better healthcare, but it has also brought new pressures and lifestyles that are tearing marriages apart and into pieces. In this blog, I want to explore why marriages in Ghana are collapsing at an alarming rate, the difference between how relationships were sustained in the past versus now, and how this shift is affecting families, children, and society at large. Marriage was the very first institution that was established in the Christian literature by God(formation of Adam and Eve). The pastors will tell you this. 

What is Marriage? : Marriage, in its simplest form, is the legally or culturally recognized union between two people who commit to living together as partners. In Ghana, marriage can be under customary law, Islamic law, or the Marriage Ordinance (Christian or civil marriage). At its heart, it is supposed to be a bond of love, respect, and shared purpose.

In traditional Ghanaian society, marriage was not just a union between two individuals, it was a merging of families, clans, and even communities. In those times, the role of elders, extended family, and community expectations kept couples together even through difficult moments until death truly departs them.

What is Divorce? : Divorce is the legal termination of a marriage, releasing both parties from the responsibilities and obligations that come with the union. In the past, divorce in Ghana was rare and often seen as a shameful last resort. Today, however, it has become a common occurrence, cutting across every class, religion, and ethnic group with no shame. 

The Ghana Statistical Service reported in 2021 that divorce rates in urban areas have risen by over 35% in the last decade, with the average marriage in some cities lasting less than eight years. This is in sharp contrast to the past, where many marriages lasted until one partner passed away.

The “Uncivilized” Age versus the “Civilized” Years : In what many call the “uncivilized” age; though I prefer to think of it as the “traditional” age, marriage was a deeply communal affair. Elders were actively involved in preparing young people for marriage, families knew each other well before unions were formed, and cultural values emphasized endurance, respect, and responsibility.

In those days:

Marital conflicts were resolved by family elders.

Divorce was rare and heavily discouraged because of shame, fear and the negative effects of it.

Marriage was a duty, not just a romantic adventure.

Couples had fewer distractions, no social media affairs, no unrealistic celebrity relationship goals.

Today, in our “civilized” years:

Marriage is seen more as a personal choice than a communal bond.

Couples have greater independence but sometimes at the cost of less accountability.

Social media, changing gender roles, and economic pressures test relationships daily.

Divorce is normalized, sometimes even encouraged as a quick fix.

10 Major Causes of Divorce in Modern Ghana

1. Infidelity : Infidelity remains one of the leading causes of divorce. Social media and instant messaging have made it easier to form secret relationships. In my own conversations with married friends, many admit that they have been tempted by old flames or strangers they meet online. The temptation is stronger than it was decades ago.

2. Financial Stress : The high cost of living in Ghana, especially in cities like Accra and Kumasi, puts tremendous strain on marriages. Couples argue over bills, school fees, and family responsibilities. When one partner loses a job or is unable to contribute financially, resentment often follows.

3. Poor Communication : In the past, couples spent more time talking face-to-face. Today, we text and assume our partner understands. Misunderstandings build, and before long, the gap becomes a wall.

4. Changing Gender Roles : In the traditional era, men were seen as providers and women as homemakers. While I celebrate the progress that has allowed women to work and earn, some couples struggle to adjust to these new dynamics, leading to power struggles in the home.

5. Unrealistic Expectations : Many young couples enter marriage expecting a fairy tale. When reality sets in, chores, children, in-laws; they feel disappointed and trapped.

6. Influence of Social Media : Social media portrays perfect relationships, making couples feel theirs is inadequate. It also creates opportunities for secrecy and flirtations outside the marriage.

7. Lack of Family Involvement : In the old days, extended families helped resolve marital conflicts. Today, couples often isolate themselves, meaning small issues grow unchecked, forgetting how the marry was established and the people who helped them to establish it. 

8. Domestic Violence : Physical and emotional abuse remains a painful reality in some homes. While reporting abuse is more accepted today (a good thing), it also means such marriages are more likely to end.

9. Infertility : In Ghanaian society, the inability to have children still carries stigma. Couples often face family pressure, and this can lead to separation. I once witnessed in Kwahu Tafo (2019) how Ama Badu's  mother-in-law openly mocked her for not bearing children after five years of marriage. She insulted her daily, withheld meals, and urged her son to remarry. The pain in Ama Badu's eyes that day still haunts me.

10. Loss of Commitment : Simply put, some couples give up too easily. In the traditional age, endurance was a virtue. Today, if things get too hard, walking away is often seen as the better choice.

The Ghanaian Context : Real Stories

I remember reading about Charlotte Oduro; the Ghanaian marriage counselor who herself went through a divorce. Her case shook many because people often believe counselors’ marriages are immune to failure. It was a reminder that no one is immune to the strains of modern marriage.

In my own circle, I’ve seen two close friends go through divorces within the last three years. In both cases, social media infidelity played a role. They both admitted that they never imagined marriage could end so quickly and faster after the grand wedding celebrations.

Effects of Divorce on Parents and Children

1. On Parents:

Emotional distress and depression.

Financial strain, especially for single mothers.

Stigma in some communities.

Increased workload for the custodial parent.

2. On Children:

Emotional trauma; children often blame themselves.

Lower academic performance due to stress.

Difficulty trusting future relationships.

Behavioral problems in adolescence.

3. On Single Parents:

Loneliness and the challenge of raising children alone.

Limited financial and emotional support.

Pressure to re-marry, sometimes leading to rushed decisions.

Statistics and Trends in Ghana : Ghana Statistical Service (2021): Divorce rate in urban areas rose by 35% over the past decade.

Accra Family Court Records (2023): Over 2,800 divorce petitions were filed in the Greater Accra Region alone.

Rural areas still have lower divorce rates, but they are rising as urban lifestyles spread.

What Can We Learn from the Past?

While I do not believe we should return to every aspect of traditional marriage (especially where women had little say), I do believe we can borrow the strong communal support systems, the value placed on endurance, and the involvement of family elders in resolving disputes.

In a nutshell, marriage in Ghana is at a crossroads. We have the freedom and independence that our grandparents didn’t have, but we also have distractions and pressures they never faced. If we want marriages to last longer, we must balance the wisdom of the past with the realities of the present.

I believe that open communication, realistic expectations, financial planning, and strong family support can make modern marriages stronger. Divorce will always be an option, but it should be the last one and not the very first. 

Blogged by : Honeybrowne Okaakyire, B,Ed.

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